Everyone uses different forms of child discipline. The question for you is, what kind do you use, and is it working for you? Chances are that if you're reading this article, then, what you're doing is not working well for you. If that's the case, you may want to consider trying something different.
Before you consider something different, lets say a few words about what so many people do, including possibly you. So many people parent the way that they were parented, which is to say that they use various forms of intimidation. This could be anything from yelling and screaming, to punishment by taking away certain privileges, or confining your child to their room or the house. It often also includes various forms of "bribing". This refers to giving children who behave
in the approved way, a reward of some kind.
If you use any of the previously mentioned techniques, you are definitely among the majority. I know I certainly was among that group. In fact, I used all of those methods. I would regularly take away privileges for bad behavior, and I would give them for good behavior. I would also resort to yelling and screaming when nothing seemed to work.
There are many problems with these methods, one of them being, children tend to withhold their good behavior until they are bribed with rewards. Also, in the usually very busy household, they can manipulate the system when mom or dad are too tired to deal. The real problem with this system is that over time, the overseers tend to get too bogged down with all other responsibilities in the household. Because of this, they find it difficult to remain consistent with the doling out of the rewards and punishment. This is when a crafty child, who has all day to concentrate on this, can game the system. It may work over the short term, but over the long term, the child usually ends up having to do less and less for the same rewards.
There are other issues with these forms of child discipline, but to keep this article concise, you should click on the link titled forms of child discipline, to find out more. This will be near the end of this article. To give you more of a reason to do this, I will tease you with this.
There are more and more parents today who have found that child disciplining in any way should be a thing of the past. To briefly explain this, it is mostly about two issues. One is the belief that child disciplining harms their self-esteem. It is thought that a child responds much more effectively to positive reinforcement, rather than negative. The other reason has to do with the fact that children will inevitably see their parents as the police. This would then foster an attitude of deception. When the police aren't around, the children will act out because they can.
To learn much more about all of this, please check out forms of child discipline! There you will also be able to connect with other parents who are going through what you are now, as well as many parents who are now on the other side of this struggle. These parents have learned to better handle their own children, and have truly found, through admittedly much trial and error, that their children flourish much more in an atmosphere of love and understanding.
It's definitely not easy to break away from the traditional forms of child discipline. However, ask yourself this question. Is what you're currently doing working for you? If you're like any of these parents just mentioned, the answer will be no. However, now they know a much different way. It's also not easy in the sense that sometimes change from something you've been doing for so long happens gradually, but it does happen. Don't wait till the pain gets too great, if it isn't already. What have you got to lose!
Here's a few other helpful links:
Parent Effectiveness Training!
Positive Parenting Tips For U!
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